Andrew, Shannon, normally wedding sermons are meant to be preached first the the couple being married. However, I know that while you may be hearing the words that are coming out of my mouth, you are probably too caught up in the moment to be listening to them, taking them in, understanding them. That's alright; you'll be getting a copy of this to read later, should you so desire.

So, this is being addressed first to you married couples who are witnessing the joining of these two and to you who are unmarried who also are witnessing the joining of these two. I want to speak to you on a topic that Andrew, Shannon, and I spoke much on in preparation for this day—submission and love. These are the things that St. Paul addressed to us in the Epistle we heard today, when he wrote to the Ephesians,

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

It must first be said that St. Paul is speaking here, foremost, of the Church. The Church is the Bride of Christ—an image and reality that we should see here represented in Shannon being Andrew's bride. Christ is the head of the Church, which is His body, and the Church submits to Christ in everything.

Why? Because God in Christ loves His Bride, the Church. He loved Her to the point of giving Himself up for Her—He gave His life as Her Ransom, to be Her Savior, that She would be cleansed and sanctified—made holy; that She would be presentable to Him without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, without blemish. In a word: perfect—Christ loves His Bride, the Church, so that He sees Her as perfect. The Church is perfect in Christ.

Oh, to be sure, this perfect Church is filled with imperfect little members. But as Christ is the Head, Redeemer, and Savior of the Church, He makes Her perfect. He does this as the members of His Bride come to Him in God-given confession, and He forgives them. He, who gave His life to be their Ransom, acts as the Ransom, Redeemer, and Savior as He forgives them for His own sake.

For His own sake...that phrase bears repeating. It simply means that all that He does for us is not so much done for us, but for Him—for our good, to be sure, but for His sake. All that He does for us is not on any account that we have, not for anything that we've done, not for anything that we are, but all out of His own divine goodness and mercy and grace. He forgives because that's who He is—that's His sake and His nature.

Likewise, then, wives, submit to your husbands. This part is easy because submission is a passive thing. It happens without any work or even merit on your part, dear wives. Your husband is your head, you are his body. You simply go where your head goes, do what your head does, live as your head lives, be as your head is.. It is resting secure in the knowledge that you are loved and cared for and, as it is with Christ and His Bride, the Church, being made perfect by your head, your husband.

Now, it must be said what submission is not in the context of a Christian marriage. As people who struggle with that Old Adam in us who wants to be in control and self-gratified, we like to play "what if" games. What if my husband commands me to do something I don't want to do? What if my husband berates and belittles me? What if my husband treats me like crap? What if my husband beats me into submission? See, the "what if" game is an easy one to play. The quick and short answer is this: that's not submission. In other words, those are the things dear wives as their husband's body do not submit to.

Husbands, pay attention, because yours is the hard part. Because, dear wives, what you submit to is your dear husband's love for you. It is that love that makes you perfect, that overlooks and ignores those things that might otherwise make you imperfect, that forgives you for sinning against him, not for your sake but for his! It is love that places the other on a pedestal of splendor. It is love that in Eden caused the man, 'ish in the Hebrew tongue, to proclaim when he first saw the woman, 'ishah! "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman"—'ishah—"because she was taken out of Man." (Genesis 2:23)

That brings up an interesting point. St. Paul wrote, "[H]usbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." As woman was taken out of man, formed of a rib from his side, she is very much his own body. So, when a man and woman marry, the two becoming one is signified not only as the two join in the God-given act of sexual intercourse, but it is also signified in a man getting a part of himself back. It is for this reason that Martin Luther often referred to his own wife as Kitty My Rib—not that being his rib was anything simple or mundane, but that she was a part of him. Viewing two becoming one as this, it is easy to understand St. Paul when he says, "He who loves his wife loves himself."

That is love as Christ loved the Church. A love for wife in this way is the way of sacrifice and giving oneself up for the other. When I first sit down with couples who desire to marry, one of the first questions I ask them, and Andrew and Shannon can attest to this, is "Why did you decide to get married to each other?" Often, the answer is, "Because we love each other." So I ask the couple to define what love is. Normally, the couple calls it a warm, fuzzy feeling or goes down the 1 Corinthians 13 route—love being patient, kind, bearing all things, etc.—and while that is all true, love is also hard work; it is the work of serving and sacrificing of oneself for another. That is the love a husband has for his wife, and it is to this that a wife submits.

It's not easy, dear husbands and dear wives.

Husbands will not always view their wives as perfect, nor place them on pedestals of splendor, nor do all things to their wives' benefit, nor give themselves up for their wives. Husbands will and do often latch on to those imperfections and even hold them against their wives. Husbands will be self-serving instead of wife-serving. In other words, husbands will and do often not love their wives. I confess this and I'm sure you husbands out there can, too.

Wives will not always submit to their husbands—submit to their husbands' love for them. When husbands do love their wives—see them as perfect, place them on pedestals of splendor, give themselves up for their wives—even in those times, wives will not and do not submit to their husbands, but seek to serve themselves over and above their husbands.

God even said as much would happen when He spoke to Adam, Eve, and the Serpent in the Garden, addressing Eve: "Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." You wives will desire what your husbands have, and you husbands will rule over your wives. It gets love and submission all wrong on BOTH counts—by both the husband and the wife.

Left to themselves, husbands and wives would be doomed to hate and kill each other. But here and now we are celebrating a Christian marriage; may we also recognize and remember our own Christian marriages. In a Christian marriage, it is not only a man and woman who are entering into a bond with each other, but they are entering into this bond in God's name and on His terms. And in so doing, He is promising to be a part of it (so long as the husband and wife do not kick Him out).

Therefore, as a cord of three strands is not easily broken, in those times when the husband does not love his wife, and the wife does not submit to her husband's love, God is there to call them back to Him, give them contrition and confession, and forgive them. A husband and wife in a Christian marriage are part of the Bride of Christ, and while a husband will never be able to perfectly love his wife, the Bridegroom loves His Bride, the Church, perfectly. He did, after all, give Himself up for Her, cleanse Her, and sanctify Her. He has made Her holy, and so He always forgives Her members for His sake, including the contrite husband struggling with the sin of not loving his wife and the contrite wife struggling with the sin of not submitting to her husband's love. And husband and wife forgive each other.

Andrew and Shannon, this is the life into which you are entering. Dear Christian husbands and wives, this is the life into which you have entered. Dear single men and women, this is the life into which you may enter, if God so wills. God is central in your two becoming one. He is in it with you to forgive you and bless you with all good things to support yourselves and each other. St. Paul wrote to the Romans,

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

Nothing can separate you two from God's love for you as Andrew and as Shannon and as Andrew and Shannon, not even yourselves or each other. For His sake, you are forgiven, forgiven and set free to love and submit and serve and forgive each other.